Only ‘sorry’, humility, humour and social media can save Brand Maradona.

 

Because of his outrageous behaviour, first must come a personal apology from Maradona to every man, woman and child in England.

 

We’d film an apology for an online video. Enter a friend’s name, email and their photo, hit send and they receive a link to a bespoke video showing Maradona personally apologising by holding up a photo of the friend. Spreading virally, Maradona would be seen to be offering personal apologies across the land.

 

Next, the humour. First, a quick commercial tie-up with a Bluetooth headset company so Maradona can go ‘hands-free’ without losing any more friends.

 

Second, a short online video ad for brand Maradona showing what would have happened if his handball had not gone in the net. This time Shilton saves it and England go on to win the World Cup. Back home, Argentina revolts and Maradona becomes reviled. In the final shot of the ad we see Maradona, a broken man, begging on the streets of Buenos Aires. Zoom out to show Maradona begging with a friend – fellow handball ‘goal thief’ Thierry Henry.

 

Hosted on Maradona’s YouTube Channel, and launched through his Twitter feed, it’d show humility, humour and social media savoir-faire.

 

The same thing happened recently when Thierry Henry’s handball led to France qualifying for the 2010 World Cup and Ireland being disqualified. Although Henry and Maradona were both vilified by the opposing sides, these are refereeing decisions. It is unrealistic to expect a player to disallow his own goal. Every football fan knows this and, when tables are turned, fans always accept errors in their favour.

 

Maradona must maintain composure, humility and project honesty. He needs to eliminate the perception that the handball was intentional.

 

It must begin at the post-match interview, where he must maintain a sombre and dignified demeanour and not gloat. He must praise his opponents and remind viewers of other statistical facts that showed his side’s domination of the match, and not accept or invite any personal credit. He then needs to behave himself during the post-match celebration and not be seen doing anything boastful, sleazy or untoward. If he can pull that off, he’ll have done the hard part to preserve his brand.

 

Everybody remembers the reaction following the Hand of God at Mexico ‘86. It was, to quote Diego, “a little with the head of Maradona and a little with the hand of God”. Except it wasn’t. Maradona’s head was nowhere near the ball. So who do we blame? God?

 

Clearly not. Yet asking to make Diego Maradona sound reasonable is as ridiculous as blaming England’s World Cup exit on the Almighty. Maradona is, after all, a man who recently told a room of journalists to “suck it and keep sucking it” after Argentina qualified for the World Cup.

 

He’s not a man known for sensitivity. However, back in 1986, he didn’t need words. Just four minutes after the Hand of God, Maradona ran from the halfway line – taking on most of the England team in the process – and scored one of the most spectacular goals of all time. It was the best answer possible..

 

So the only way to represent Maradona is to show him how he is. A flawed character, a footballing genius. And, if that doesn’t work, he can rest assured that he will always be popular in Scotland.